Benefits of posting blogs

At first the only reason I was posting these blogs was to receive extra credit for this class, but now these blogs meant much more. For each blog I created, I received a lot more than extra credit pride, but a pride in knowing and expressing who I am. I admit I am no proud of everything I have done in my life, but lately I am. It took a lot of will power to overcome my virus, recreate friendships, and to have lost an important man in my life. It takes sheer will power to overcome these obstacles and pride to share them with people. I think posting blogs helps show people who you truly are and allows you to express how you feel through words. If this assignment was not provided as extra credit, I most likely would have never stated posting blogs. Now I discuss with friends and family how beneficial blogs are and now a few of them have started their own bogs. It is interesting both to publish your own blogs and read those of others. It shows people's true colors. I hope blogs will be incorporated in my future courses, not only as extra credit, but also for pieces of work and assignments. Overall, this blog experience has better improved my writing skills and use of expressing my thoughts and emotions in a positive way. So long for now...

Facebook Addiction! (yes, it is an addiction)

As I sit here typing up my blogs, I cannot log off my facebook. Facebook is a bad addiction that many students cannot control. For example, my friend's grades were dropping so she deleted her facebook because she was constantly getting distracted from doing her work. After a week without facebook, her grades started to improve again. It is amazing how distracting the internet can be. During finals week, facebook is definitely on all facebook members minds. Anything to procrastinate their work or to take a break from studying helps and facebook is one of those distractions. Even during classes throughout the semester, students bring their laptops to class to check their facebook while in class. It is too important or too funny to wait until after class that instead of paying attention in class and taking notes, they must sit on their laptops and check what everyone else is doing. Facebook was created for college students, but today, almost everyone has one. Even my own grandmother has a facebook, but her facebook is used to check on my family members. This facebook addiction is hurting the grades of not only college students, but high school students as well. I fear what will be in stores for future generations.

In a crummy mood

I am a little upset with the recent grade I received on my fourth essay for my Ways of Love class. I received an "A-" on the first two essays and an "A" on the third essay. For the fourth, I did not do well; I received a "B-". I knew I did not do as well as I would have hoped for before I even handed in the paper, but I did not think I was going to do so poorly. Luckily, my professor allows re-writes for all of his papers, except the final paper. The professor uses anecdotes to correct what was wrong in all of our papers so it is not very difficult to come up with a better paper. Unfortunately, my professor’s handwriting is not the best and I struggle to read it. I have already typed up a rewrite and will hopefully receive a better grade. I would like to finish the class with "A's" on all of my paper and receive an "A" average. The class is very easy and the papers are not too long. This paper in particular was only four pages and the final is only two pages. The readings we need to use for all the papers was a little difficult to pick apart and this assignment in particular was a little more difficult to understand. Another reason I did so poorly was because we were suppose to use a particular website for a source, but I could not find any useful information from that site, so I used Google. Hopefully, I will have done much better on my rewrite to achieve my "A" average.

Sumer 2010!

I cannot wait for this summer! Since I did not get to enjoy my summer last year, due to my sickness, it will be that much better. I have so many plans already in store; I do not know where to begin. I will be attending the beach a lot, going to six flags, hanging with friends, working for my dad, and taking two online summer courses. Taking my summer courses online will be a breeze. I can lounge out by my pool, get tan, and get my work for class accomplished. In July, I am going to see RENT on Broadway and the whole month of July, my aunt who has MS will be staying at my house to work with the personal trainer who helped me get better. Being able to enjoy this summer will be such a reward for overcoming my illness. All my hard work in my recovery will pay back. Being able to have freedom is so important. On May 10th, I go to take my test to receive my driver’s license. I think getting my license is what I am most excited for. I can go out wherever and whenever I want and not have to ask my parents or my friends to take me out. There is nothing like driving in the summer with the windows rolled down, the wind blowing on your face, and good music blasting. I will show everyone that with effort you can overcome any obstacle and be rewarded in the end. Only one more week and my summer fun begins!

Stressing over moving out

Between studying and doing everyday homework, I am overwhelmed in the effort to start packing up my dorm room. Being a girl, there are many things in my room. To top it off, I am an over-packer. I never know what I am and what I am not going to need. I have so many clothes, accessories, wall decorations, and many other things. Thank goodness my father will be coming on Friday to help me pack things up and bring them home. It is funny how we have to pack up all of our things, just to bring them back for spring semester. I am hoping that the apartment will have more room for all of my things. I am definitely a pack rat. I also need to make sure the room is clean before I leave, so I do not get charged with fines for damages and cleanliness. I was not pleased with the way my room was at the beginning of the semester, so I do not want the future students who will have this room to go through what I went through. I also have to remember when I am finished with all of my assignments for the semester to bring back my books to get some money for them. Even if the returned books are not worth the price I paid for them, every dollar counts and will go towards my spring semester books. Bring out the Kleenex, Windex, vacuum, and pledge!

Stress of finals

I do not have as many finals as my friends, but I have one major final I am stressing over, Algebraic problem solving. As my friends are being overwhelmed with all their finals they must study for, I am lucky that I only need to study for one. Even though it is only one, it will be a difficult one that will take a lot of struggle and determination to pass. I have been struggling with this course the entire semester and am not looking forward to taking the final. Although I only have one final, this one final is a big one. My final counts as thirty percent of my overall class average. When it comes down to it, if I fail this final, I could fail for the semester and be forced to retake it next semester. One semester of this course is bad enough and I would not want this retaking affect the other courses I am registered for. I was never great at math and it was one of the subjects I always struggled with since I was sick, it is taking my brain a little longer to register information and math is taking a little bit longer to get back. I will have to study extremely hard to pass this exam and this class. If it comes down to it and I fail, I have no other choice but to take this course again. I am hoping for the best.

Next Semester's Courses

I am very excited for the courses I am registered for fall semester. I am starting my minor courses, (Forensic Science). I took this course for a half year senior year and I hope the course here will be similar to my previous course. If Forensic Science was a major I would have chose it, but since you can only chose Forensics as a minor, I have to incorporate my criminal justice courses. So next semester I am registered for introduction to forensic science, theories of criminality, introduction to psychology, and perspectives on women. Perspectives on women should be interested, considering I am a woman who wishes to be a State Trooper. Being that men are minorities in the police force, it should be interesting to learn the struggles I will have to overcome by becoming a female police officer. Hopefully it will teach me skills to overcome criticism and prevail and cause me to strive harder to prove women can do almost anything that men can do. I am eliminating many "G" courses and my integrated culture course, so not only am I enjoying the classes, but also getting many of my college course requirements out of the way. It will be a heavy work load next semester but with determination and eagerness to accomplish the tasks assigned, I believe I will find a routine to manage my study time and enjoy my college experiences.

Struggles after college

As much hard work, time, and money you put into your college years, people are struggling with getting the jobs they want after graduation. Some people are graduating with degrees in fields where there are no job offerings right now and must settle for lower paying jobs or even jobs not related to the major they chose to maintain in college. With the recent downfalls of our economy, cuts are being made in all sorts of field of work, specifically, teaching. For example, my sister graduated from Georgian Court University last year and received a teaching job right out of college for that September. She is teaching at the elementary school we both attended right around the corner from home and could not have been more thrilled. Since she only had the job for a year, she recently received her pink slip. Teachers all around are losing their jobs or receiving pay cuts. For my field, criminal justice, I recently heard that there are limited spots available to enroll in Sea Girt’s training academy for police officers. This brings fear to my eyes, questioning if I too will struggle to find a job when I graduate college. If a low paying job is what it takes to work my way up to my dream job, then that is what is going to have to be done. This crisis is hurting so many and I hope it does not last longer and impact future generations, including me.

A Changed Attitude

Going through such a traumatic experience can really change your outlook on life. Before I got sick, I had such a cruddy attitude. I complained about the smallest things that did not really matter, I stressed over getting so many things done in a short period of time, and I was very judgmental. After I was released from the hospital, and even during, I learned to ignore the small and dumb things in life that do not matter. All that high school drama is just a waste of precious time. When every second counts in life, it is pointless to focus on the little things. Spend each moment like it was your last. Friends come and go and in high school it is said that you most likely will not stay friends with the friends you then have. Throughout my high school years, I have had numerous friends. After the hospital, I made amends with quite a few friends that I lost touch with over the years. I am so grateful that my hospital experience has changed me for the better.

Loss of old friends, or was it just a break?

When I was sick and in the hospital, my best and close few friends often came to visit me and distract me from my situation. They always brought me stuffed animals, pictures, and even got my year book signed for me. I was so lucky to have friends like them. When I finally was released from the hospital and better, my friends began to see less and less of me. I thought to myself, "why is it that when I am better that they do not want to spend as much time with me." I neglected to take into consideration that it was the end of summer and they were all about to begin college. At first I was very angry and hurt and even believed that they visited me in the hospital for the wrong reasons. Now that I'm in college, I realize what each of them were going through. There is only so much time you can spend hanging with friends, between homework, studying, and work. I hope that this summer we can all reconnect and enjoy the summer together. I miss the great times we shared in highschool and all the events we had. I am sure that my friends will remain loyal to me and be excited to have finished their first year of college, as I know I will be.

My Interpretation of Love

What is love? Is there a true definition to the word love? Is it wrong to disagree with a person’s thoughts of its definition or definitions? In reality, it means something different to every individual. There are those out there that may never get the opportunity to find true love. It may be because of their own personal issues, or their lack of ability to express their emotions and feelings. Many people believe you can never truly be happy unless you are in a loving relationship with another spouse, but that is not entirely true. Love means so much more than what we, as humans, think it means. Love, in more than one way, educates us on countless levels. Love is important to the sanity of people, it brings out the mysteries in our minds, and it teaches us about how to reach out to our hearts and the hearts of others.
“Love is like a see-saw, it has its ups and its downs.” A see-saw has two sides, and if one is up, the other side must be down. The balance allows it to work, much like love. When two people are in love, it is guaranteed that there will be times of joy, happiness, anger, sadness, and many other emotions. It can never be good all the time; otherwise it would not be a realistic love. If there are no dilemmas, there can be no resolutions. If there are no arguments, there can be no make ups. What would love be if it did not have both sides of the see-saw? It would be unbalanced and quite frankly, boring. This unbalance of emotions teaches us that we need to open up to others to have a love connection. If people keep their emotions bottled up inside, it will just lead to a tragic downfall and can be dangerous. Let the good times be good, and let the bad times be bad. In the end, “Love conquers all”.

End to my "perfect" relationship

After the year I just went through, I am once again hit with a bombshell; my boyfriend of almost two years broke up with me. April is definitely not a good month for me. The day before Easter, Luis decided he wanted to end things. Granted couples have their share of arguments and fights, but Luis and I usually had the strength to overcome those faults. Luis is turning twenty-one on May 11th and is going through the stage in his life when he wants to focus on partying. Unlike me, Luis does not have college work to focus on and currently does not have a job. The little fights we were having got the better of him and the distance between us was certainly not helping our relationship. The only thing I do not understand is how we overcame the obstacle of me being sick, but this set back has no solution. Luis claims that he has fallen out of love with me, just like that. To me, that does not seem possible. The buildup of these small obstacles can be overcome and I would love to work things out between us more than anything. He is my first true love and a very special person to me. A broken heart is very hard to heal, but like they say, time heals all wounds.

Daily Struggle by Lola Rose

Everyday, eyes won't open, legs won't move,
No point in getting up, nothing to see,
Nowhere to go, no-one I know,
Who cares enough to see that I'm stuck,
And reach to me, help me out of this dark, lonely hole.
Struggle to find the energy to get dressed,
Leave the house, 7:30 am and I'm already stressed,
Everyday the same, exhausting and boring,
No-one to go to talk to, no-one to laugh with,
Never been more lonely, no-one can see,
And reach to me, help me out of this dark, lonely hole.
I never eat, my stomach's always churning,
Food doesn't satisfy the constant yearning,
Of my heart for love, nor the ceaseless tumbling,
Of thoughts in my mind, thoughts no-one hears,
Because no-one is around to listen to all my fears,
And reach to me, help me out of this dark, lonely hole.
Beneath my smiles lie reservoirs of tears,
The dams struggling to keep them in,
More cracks appearing daily, pressure building up,
So much energy is needed to do the tiniest things,
Energy I don't have, with no-one to lean on,
And reach to me, help me out of this dark, lonely hole.


This poem hits me very hard. I can completely understand what the author is going through and how she feels. When I was sick, I had very little energy and was unable to do every day things, like get out of bed, dress myself, or eat. You question why you are unable to do the things you see others doing, things you yourself were once able to do. But there is no true answer to your questions. You begin thinking to yourself and almost talking to yourself to occupy the time. There is nothing else to do, but sit and think of various and strange things. Unlike the author, I had many people to provide me with anything I needed help with. If I could not reach something, someone was there to get it for me. If I had difficulties getting dressed, my mother was right there by my side. As lucky and grateful as I am that I had that access to help, it made me depressed and feel worthless and too dependent. It is very difficult to have to rely on others for so many things. I felt like a child again, waiting for mommy or daddy to tie my shoes, or make me my breakfast. The struggles of everyday life start to eat at you and there is no real pain reliever. This poem put all the thoughts from when I was sick into words, and it truly hit the heart.

Life is like a box of chocolates

When I was younger, and to this day, I loved the movie "Forrest Gump". Everything about it, the actors, the music, and the plot, just everything about it sparked my interest. Today it is my all time favorite movie. The most famous quote from the movie is when Forrest says, "Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you are going to get." I life my life vicariously through this quote, as it brings me inspiration. Forrest is right when he says that you never know what you are going to get. Our fate is not in our hands and we must deal with whatever obstacles life throws at us. When I got sick, rather than ask my doctors, "why",I simply accepted the minor obstacle thrown into my life. I could not have known that I was going to get sick, but I dealt with the struggles and benefits the situation presented to my life. Now you may ask, how can being sick have benefits, but my sickness had many benefits. I made wonderful friendships between my roommate, nurses and doctors, I gained a closeness to all my family members, and I survived a life changing experience. If we knew everything that is meant to happen to us throughout our lives, then everyone would just be paranoid. Life is much more fun and exciting when we do not know what life is going to bring us each and every morning when we wake up. The next time you ask yourself, what am I going to do today, just think of this quote, "Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you are going to get."

Finishing out a year

April of last year was when I got sick. I was sent into the hospital almost a year ago. Since graduation was not until June, I had to finish out my senior year and high school experience in the hospital. Finishing out this semester here is a big accomplishment for me. I am very proud that I even got into college after such a rough time, but to be finishing up my first semester as a college student, is equally exciting. I feel that I have accomplished all that I have said I would do when I was sick. I am in school, I am living away from home (even though I go home almost every weekend), I am meeting new people, and I am getting good grades. It just goes to show what can be accomplished when you set your mind on something. My parents did not think I was ready to enroll back in fall, and I think they were right. As bored as I was, I do not believe I would have been satisfied with my accomplishments. Spring semester was the right time to start my college education. Although I am a semester behind my fellow classmates, I will be attending summer courses to do some much needed catching up. It may be a stinker having classes in the summer, but in the end, it will all be worth it. April may not be my lucky month, but I believe I can handle whatever life throws at me.

Difference from last Easter

It is almost the one year mark of my diagnosis. It was Easter of last year that my syptoms first started showing. Every year we celebrate Easter at my house and after dinner last year, it all started. I made it through the day with almost no problems, just a little sore throat. With the pollen count around this time of year, a sore throat is not un-common. During dinner, I began to feel a bit tired and my throat was much more sore, and slightly dis-colored. When I finished my meal, I asked to be excused from the table to go and take a short nap. After saying goodbye to all of my family members, I went to go lay down in my bed. I slept soundly that night, but within the next few days, my illness tremendously increased. This Easter will hopefully be much better. I am focusing on not taking naps and staying healthy. What a difference a year can make.